Finding the Joy #2

The in-laws are visiting, and I must say I racked up some pretty cool in laws. Or maybe because there are so many when I get sick of listening to one I can move on to the next one. ;).  Everyone is in town to celebrate the only daughter’s birthday. This is another story in itself but every birthday for her is a miracle the doctors didn’t think she would live to see her second birthday, today she turned 22! Praise the Lord.  So back to my issue, and yes right now its all about me. I listen to kids wine all day cause their lives are so focused around them in this moment I’m being selfish, its all about me. While every one is here enjoying time together, I have to go back to a room all alone and feed baby boy.  My personality, the last place I want to be is by myself. So this in itself is a struggle. Yes they make nursing covers but the baby doesn’t come with a remote so I can’t put him on mute when he’s eating but it would be nice.  I come out to the older two boys making a mess with the newly folded towels and the just neatly organized bookshelf. I proceed to but baby down and proceed cleaning up from where the older 2 destroyed the house while being “left out” but while cleaning everything up I’m being “left out”. I’m seeing a pattern form into my “left out” theory. By the time I finally sat down from cleaning up that mess it was time for baby boy to eat again. I picked up baby and started walking to the pit of despair aka “left out” and my little 2 year old looked at me and said. “Mom, you are the best mom, thank you for feeding baby and me.” I gave him a pat on the head and continued toward my pit. Once I got settle into feeding baby and sulking the Lord brought back to my mind the sweet little comment my 2 year old uttered as I was walking back. And as I was sitting there the Lord spoke to me. “That is why you do what you do, that is why you are what you are.”